It’s been a tough day today.
I was heading down to Abbotsford to pick up my friend’s kids. I was driving her car. The same car that I drove down to the hospital for 4 months. Driving the same roads.
It was such a huge trigger for me. I needed the cry. I needed the drive down. I will eventually be able to go through downtown and head to VGH. That’s my plan. Repeated exposure, so that the pain lessens, or I’m able to handle it better.
I didn’t get the kids – their dad got off work early and went to get them. So I turned around and went home.
Then … I went through the bin of snapshots. I have a lot of AMAZING shots of Mark. I’m truly blessed that I have so many – I have a document of our life together.
That was hard… but I’m glad I did it. The memorial is coming up fast, and in 2 days I lose my friend’s support, and I’m forced to do it on my own.
Now I have a pile of pictures… which I will take to Walmart and scan to disc and add to all the other pictures I have of him. Then there will be a sort of all the pictures to the most important, the most poignant.
I found a couple that I want to blow up and have on my walls. I love that I’ve found these.
I miss him so much… today was a tough day, but it was good in so many ways.