Warning…. this post is full of TMI (too much information) and this is your one chance to close the browser, hit the delete button, or in general, bypass this post.
While you take the time to decide if you want to read about TMI… here’s an LOLcats picture for you.
So back to my post.
I have a sex drive. I have a MAJOR sex drive. When I’m not seriously depressed, when my brain allows me to be in a good mood… I’m beyond horny.
At the same time… I have an involuntary, serious aversion to being touched in any sexual manner… Someone was joking around with me and I just about bit their head off (this was a good friend – that kind of joking has never been an issue before).
I talked to my psychiatrist about it today – it is something that has developed since he died.
So yeah – sending off serious mixed signals… to MYSELF. UGH.
It’s a bit of a problem for me.
It has been almost 8 months. 8 months without intimate contact with another person… 😦 I had one almost one-night-stand after he died… but came to my senses – realized how crappy I would feel the next day. Drunk sex is not a good option when you’re grieving.
So yeah. Stuck in a distressing cycle of “high sex drive-don’t touch me” hormones… 😦
I miss him so much. No one knew me as well as he did. Losing him changed so much – I lost my partner, my companion, my best friend, my lover….