I Finished It…

The cross stitch piece I was working on.   The one that caused me so much pain and anxiety and nausea that I could barely breathe.

I finished it last night…

There was some stress, some anxiety, I wouldn’t let anyone leave until I was done… but I finished it.

I’m going to have it framed, and then put it on my wall near him.

After I was done – we sat and checked out Bev’s wedding photos.

Don’t get me wrong – Bev was a gorgeous bride.  She had a dream wedding.  I love her and am extremely happy for her… Her pictures were amazing…

And they left me a little (ok a lot) sad.

I was looking at these pictures of this perfectly done, beautifully set wedding; this gorgeous porcelain doll bride and I wanted to cry.

He mother and father were there.  She was there.  Everyone was coupled up (that I could see) and I kept thinking… I miss him.. 😦

The other thought was that I couldn’t imagine being that happy again.  Loving someone so much that I wanted to share that moment with them…

At that moment, I felt so alone… 😦

She was gorgeous.  And oh so freaking happy.  And I’m happy for her.

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4 thoughts on “I Finished It…

  1. nekkidsoul says:

    Congratulations on finishing the cross stitch. I bet you feel as though a weight has been lifted. Now you can frame it and when you look at it, you will see the beginning footsteps of your own journey of recovery.

    I know you may feel alone, but he is there with you in his own way. 😉 Hugs!

  2. Kat says:

    Wow! That cross stitch is great. Nicely done 🙂

  3. Hadassah Hannah says:

    It is a beautiful piece, and you should feel very proud of yourself for doing it.

    And you should also feel proud of yourself for being able to be happy for a bride.

  4. Bea says:

    Jane, huge congratulations for finishing that cross stitched poem. You did a beautiful job with it.

    And kudos for being able to look at wedding pictures and be happy for the bride. If you had NOT been sad, that would have been strange. You are still very early in your walk. Big hugs.

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