Distractions

I have been distracting myself.

There’s a couple schools of thought on distractions… one that it’s a good thing – it allows me to function; the other that it is avoiding the pain that I will inevitably go through regardless.

When I stop distracting, the pain comes rushing in.  The memories flood my brain and the feelings of overwhelming loss hit me again.

It’s Halloween.  Last year he had a blood vessel burst in his eye and he used it to make a really cool costume.

It hit me when I thought of that… we’re coming up on 10 months since he was at home.  10 months since he was a part of our daily life.

And 4 months since he died.

Distracting works, sometimes, but today I think I need to immerse myself in the memories… allow them to wash over me… move through me…

And remember that the distractions will always be there.

 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Distractions

  1. I can relate. I am great at distracting myself, but eventually “reality” has to be faced. And the memories…sad, sweet, wonderful, powerful, and painful…I wish you healing, as you allow them in.

  2. Hadassah Hannah says:

    You can call it distractions, but, in many cases, it’s simply getting on with the business of living. There’s nothing wrong with it.

  3. Jax says:

    Hope you found peace today with your memories.

  4. Firsts happen daily. Today was first Halloween without Barb. YEsterday was first time carving pumpkins alone.
    Yesterday I planted about 30 bulbs in a small plot near the window so I can see them come up in the spring. Bright colors to welcome spring-so far away. I wonder how I’ll feel then.
    Distractions are good. I go to work and get pulled into a major distraction. Then I come back home and the grieving returns. I’m still caught thinking I can tell Barb about something I saw or ask her opinion.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s