I have been distracting myself.
There’s a couple schools of thought on distractions… one that it’s a good thing – it allows me to function; the other that it is avoiding the pain that I will inevitably go through regardless.
When I stop distracting, the pain comes rushing in. The memories flood my brain and the feelings of overwhelming loss hit me again.
It’s Halloween. Last year he had a blood vessel burst in his eye and he used it to make a really cool costume.
It hit me when I thought of that… we’re coming up on 10 months since he was at home. 10 months since he was a part of our daily life.
And 4 months since he died.
Distracting works, sometimes, but today I think I need to immerse myself in the memories… allow them to wash over me… move through me…
And remember that the distractions will always be there.