What I wanted tonight, was to go steal some more snuggles from the man I’m dating. He’s a fantastic snuggler, and I feel… at peace…? wanted…? sexxy…? In general, I just feel GOOD.
He’s tired, and I knew that so I was satisfied with a phone call and decided to channel that energy that I had into something more productive than sitting and being twitterpated.
I got the kitchen cleaned, sent the boys to bed and decided to check my email before I went to tuck them in.
I got this blog in my email. (warning, if you are at all emotional it WILL make you cry – especially if you watch the video)
I read it. I watched the video. I cried. I bawled. I sobbed. I couldn’t control it and I don’t know that I should have even been trying to.
My poor boys.
I started crying about 8.45, and finally got it under control around 9.15.
It’s not totally under control – I can feel them just below the surface threatening to burst forth again.
There will probably be another outburst of tears.
A friend of mine said to me that my giddiness around the new guy in my life could be a distraction from the inner work I need to continue to do to heal. She pointed out to me that he deserves me working on my healing… and she’s right.
The truth is, if I had had the distraction and the giddiness from a visit with him – I wouldn’t have had the emotional outburst and I really really needed it tonight. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was exactly what what I needed.