22 1/2 Weeks

The length of time he was in hospital.

The length of time since he died.

I’ve survived 22 1/2 weeks.   Twice.   I’m heading back to work in the New Year, and some days I feel like it’s a good thing – other days I feel like it’s the worst decision ever.

Good thing I’m going back part time to start.

I can’t believe he’s been gone that long.  It doesn’t seem real.    I can’t believe almost all of 2012 has been spent in hospital or in mourning.

3 weeks at the beginning of 2012 were all we got of good times this year.   The last 4 weeks of 2012 I will spend making happy memories for my boys.  Christmas is coming, 6 months is coming, and I will make sure the boys have good memories, not just sad ones.

Life did not stop because he died.  It just feels that way.

Tonight, I’m snuggled on the floor with the boys – it’s campout and movie night.  I’m going to cheat and sleep on the couch – the floor is *very* uncomfortable… LOL  But it’s another happy memory for them.

22 1/2 weeks.  158 days.  Tomorrow it will be 159 days… the exact number of days he was in hospital.

Something just seems so wrong with that… *sigh*


3 thoughts on “22 1/2 Weeks

  1. sjb1994 says:

    I admire your courage and your willingness to move on. No one can ask for more than that. One day, albeit different, your life will be in forward motion again. New memories and new traditions are a great start in that. One step at a time, one step at a time.

  2. widowwisdom says:

    Sometimes it’s not about the the big things as it is the little things. Making memories in slow motion is the start. There is no way to say it is wrong or should have been different. Everyone has a different way to grieve. Everyday is a milestone. We survived another day. Be proud as you are a survivor with friends along the journey. One more day. One more second. And one more moment. 🙂

  3. “Life did not stop because he died. It just feels that way.” This is so sadly true.

    I admire you for creating a Christmas for your sons, for going back to work part time (a wise decision, I think) and, in general, getting on with the business of living. My thoughts are with you.

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