My Phone Sucks

What, you might ask, does this have to do with a widow’s blog?  What does a phone have to do with grieving?

Simply… it houses my reminder to take my medication.   The medication keeps me level.   In the past week, I’ve forgotten to take it 4 times because I thought I “snoozed” the reminder, only to have it NEVER COME BACK.

Perhaps the missed meds are the reason for the highs and lows.  Perhaps if I took them every day, at the right time, I’d be level and my normal cheery self.

Or perhaps it wouldn’t make a rats ass of difference because it’s Christmas, and it’s been almost 6 months since he died and he’s NOT FUCKING HERE.

But likely, I wouldn’t have thoughts that I do… I wouldn’t have *quite* the emotional roller coaster…

So my phone sucks.

I loved my blackberry for the ability to remind, dismiss, snooze, and generally keep me on top of tasks.  This one… not so good – I keep losing the reminders. *sigh*

It’s midnight – I forgot to take my meds earlier.   I can’t get a new phone because my contract isn’t up yet – but I’ll figure out a way to keep my reminders straight.

Off to take my meds, and go to bed.  Tomorrow is going to be busy.    Lots of stuff still to do for Christmas, dinner is at 6 and I am not really ready.. *sigh*

I miss Mark – he’s supposed to be here 😦



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