I’ve been having a lot of bad nights lately. Adjusting to being alone has been… difficult at best.
Tonight has been a good night.
We did the boys’ bedtime routine. I settled in for the night. And my anxieties disappeared.
The kitchen is clean, the dishes are done, there is banana bread baking.
I’ve got a couple loads of laundry to fold, but I may leave those for tomorrow.
I didn’t exercise like I planned, but that’s ok because I feel like I’m ready to get up at a good time tomorrow and do yoga.
I still have time to exercise, if I want.
My house feels warm and cozy and full of love.
I saw Mark out of the corner of my eye a few minutes ago…
It’s a really really good night. This is the first night I’ve had without anyone here, and without any alcohol, where I’ve been ok.
I miss him – but I’m not overwhelmed by it like I have been. It’s not consuming me.