Emotional Day Today

Started out with a conversation with my son about what’s going on for me, what’s going on for him and that erupted in tears.

Conversation got better, I cried more, things got … resolved?  I dunno – things got talked about, but he’s very much like me; he likes to argue semantics.

Received a couple phone calls about finances.  Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

Things are not stable financially – I hate it.  I apparently haven’t been paying any attention to finances – and it’s caught up to me.   I’m playing the “payment arrangements” game.  It kinda sucks.   I’m looking at what I can cut, but really – I need more income.

And then income was cut… or rather, distribution was changed, which leaves me in a $900 deficit this month.  I’ll get some of that back in mid-Feb… but hey… it’s JANUARY.   My JANUARY bills are due.  And no one told me this would happen so I did not plan for it.

So I’ve either been crying or on the verge of tears all. freaking. day.

I want to curl up somewhere and go to sleep for several hours.

I want January to be over. I’m done  with being 38.  I want to be 39.   39 will be a better year.  I know it will.

The number 39 represents “the organization and the solidarity of the Cosmos, being expressed by the harmony of the relations between the parts – 3 + 9 = 12. As triple thirteen, it is the individual initiative, nonfortuitous, but organized and harmonized”.

Yeah.  That’s the stuff. 39 will be awesome.

I just have to get through 38.   Only 5 days left.

Grumpy Cat


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