I dreamt of Mark last night. It’s been so long since he’s figured in a dream, that I’d almost given up hope.
I ask him every night before I go to sleep to come to me in my dreams. I tell him I love him, kiss the pendant and ask for his presence in my dreams.
I dreamt of him.
I dreamt that he was in the hospital – in the cardiac wing. I spent an enormous amount of time wandering the hospital looking for him. I would get to one section, only to be told that he wasn’t there and I should go to a different area of the hospital. I’d go to wherever I was sent only to discover that he wasn’t there, either.
I was sent on a wild goose chase, always looking for him – knowing he was ok, but I just needed to find him and let him know that I knew he was ok. I needed to see him and confirm that he was ok.
I have heard that dreams where you’re talking to your loved one mean that they’re visiting you, interacting with you.
Dreams where they figure in prominently but you don’t actually talk to them mean that it’s your mind creating this.
I don’t know what is true. I do know that the dream I had was not one of frantic searching, but more one of peace and just not being able to reach him. I wasn’t scared, anxious or worried, just frustrated that I couldn’t reach him.
Regardless of what the dream *means* or whether it was a direct visitation, it was one of peace and serenity. It was one that I felt good waking out of.
I forgot to turn off my alarms last night – so when I was awakened out of the dream, I wanted to get back to it as soon as possible – I kept thinking that if I could get back there, I’d find him, finally.
I woke up at peace today. That feeling of peace has permeated the rest of my morning – it’s only 10.40 and I’m active in my day, being productive, interacting with my boys, planning my afternoon.
I don’t feel lost and dragged down with sadness.
I feel ok with my world.