The jury is still out.
A quick google search says that yes they do, no they don’t, they do but then they break easier, or in general… who knows?
But the saying, the old wives tale, the myth, is that a broken bone is stronger at the healed point than anywhere else.
I wonder if the same is true of broken hearts?
“When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandise the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.”
This quote from Barbara Bloom describes Kintsugi, the Japanese practise of repairing precious but broken objects with gold. It’s a beautiful concept, related to the Japanese concept wabi-sabi.
I’d like to think my heart will be repaired one day. I wrote about how I died the other day – how the love and support from my friends is what’s keeping me together and moving forward.
It would be nice if the scars could be repaired with gold. Beautiful, brilliant, shining gold. Creating something stronger and more beautiful than it was before.
The ability to have loved with the depth and intensity that I loved Mark with… it causes the grief to take me to a dark, black hole of despair now that he’s gone…
A friend said to me tonight… You know you have the right to dwell there, you deserve some time there, but you are still needed in the real world.
And she’s right. When I’m able to, soaking in the darkness, dwelling in the intense sadness is something I can’t avoid. But I am needed in the real world, and I need to come back to the light.
Every time I bring myself back from the darkness, another crack is repaired with gold. Another scar shines as a testament to the love we shared.
Some days, the holes, the darkness is worse than others. Some days, it’s barely grey. But I keep coming back. I keep repairing the cracks and the scars with gold, so that one day I’ll be able to shine again.