When I’m Good.. I’m Good

But when I’m bad… I’m REALLY fucked up.

There seems to be no in between for me with this grief journey.

I’m either good, happy, dating, getting on with life, or I’m a sobbing mess.

Why can’t I have some in between?

Some sadness without broken?

I think, maybe, just maybe, because I’m able to disassociate, because I’m able to shunt it to the recesses of my mind, that when I dare to open up that box, when I dare to look in on the pain… that it’s like snakes in a can – it explodes into a mess and it’s a bitch to get back in the can.

And I’m left broken with a mess to clean up.

Tear Composition


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s