Restless Irritable and Discontent

Snarky, cranky, sad, and just generally in a bad mood.

I need to find something that helps with those feelings because they happen a LOT at this time of night.

I need to find a way to make this time of night a good time of night.

Not that I can right now because I’m still recovering from the flu – but there’s a number of things that might work.

Yoga.

Crafting.

Writing (other than the blogs – which I do anyhow)

Studying for my CAIB 4 exam.

Cleaning another part of the house.   (I wonder how clean my house would be if I deep cleaned a different room every night?)

Writing the damn book.

Running.

Working out.

I can’t take the dog for a walk because the boys need me to stay here.

OH! I could find someone to play long distance chess with :p

I could repaint my house.

Put in new flooring.

Tile my kitchen.

What I don’t want to do is stare at the damn computer every night.   Or the TV.   I want to be active and enjoy my evenings.

That’s a choice. It’s my choice.  And I’m not going to let the grief win.   I’ll feel it.  I’ll live with it.  I’ll move through it.  I’m going to honour it and Mark with all the dignity and depth of feeling that he deserved – and he deserved a lot.

But I need to live my life.  I need to pull myself out of the holes and find the light.   There is light out there.  There is joy.  And I’ll find it.

I just need to heal from this flu.

Depend on Yourself Kintsugi Life is what Happens Mark's Urn

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One thought on “Restless Irritable and Discontent

  1. Rose Chimera says:

    Maybe its a grief thing you’re feeling because just to let you know I feel restless, irritable and discontent, snarky, cranky, sad, and just generally in a bad mood too, I would add bored to my list though. I have repainted rooms in the house, I re-tiled the laundry room, I have changed the landscaping front and back yards, I have cleaned out rooms, thrown furniture away, changed the entire decor of some rooms, wander around the house at night, stare at the blog on the computer screen with nothing to say, flip through channels on the TV and getting stuck watching some infomercial for 30 minutes without realizing it…it sucks really. I imagine I’m a hamster on a wheel sometimes running, running, running yet going nowhere. I think if we just keep at “it”…this life thing, then it will get better. However, I don’t know about you but I get pretty impatient for it TO get better!

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