Are you ready?
This is the question posed to me this morning… are you ready?
Am I ready to go to work full time?
Am I ready to let go of being “disabled” and move back into the work force full time?
Am I ready to accept that I have healed enough to be in control of my own life?
Am I ready to be fully in control of my life, my house, my kids? (yeah yeah, I get that no one is ever in control of their kids)
Am I ready?
I’d like to say no. I’d like for there to be a major backslide and for me to fall into dispair, perhaps end up in a mental hospital and be just “ok” enough to run my life.
But I’m not. And I’m not capable of faking it. So as much as I *like* working only 3 or 4 days a week – I’m ready to be working full time.
What I am is ready to get back to real life, to take responsibility for my home, to take charge of my career, to be present.
I still have moments. I still have times where I hurt so bad I’m crying while I’m doing 80+kms an hour down the road to home. I still have evenings where I rock myself back and forth trying to shake off the pain and lonliness.
But I’m ready to live life. However that looks right now. I’m ready.