I belong to a couple widow websites. Places where I can go to talk to other people who “get” it.
Tonight the chat was about friends and how many people have lost friends. Friends who don’t get it, who say insensitive things, who pressure the widow into being “better” before he or she is ready. Friends who just can’t handle the enormity of the loss and how it changes a person.
I am grateful for my friends. My friends are amazing. Some of my friends are people I’ve known since before Mark died. Some were peripherals in my life. Some were acquantances. Some were friends of friends.
Some I never knew before… they are randomly new people in my life.
So I’d like to share with all of you, all of my readers… the friends who have made this journey bearable. The friends who have brought joy, stability, support and most of all love to my life when it looked the darkest.
Each of my friends, old and new, each of them have enriched my life in ways that I didn’t think was possible.
I was going to name them, but I know I will forget *someone* and I don’t know who the someone is but I’ll feel bad because it won’t mean that they’re any less important, just that I have widow brain and it doesn’t function as well as it used to.
But I have a circle of friends. Of good friends. Of great friends. The best of friends. Friends who show up when others don’t. Friends who are willing to clean and declutter my house when I can’t. Friends who are willing to sit with me on the side of the river drinking a bottle of wine. Friends who are willing to open their hearts to me. Friends who are willing to just be there, if I ask them to. Friends that will send a random stranger to my house with a plant because they remembered a story I told them. Friends that will come, no matter the time or what’s going on when I say “I need you” Friends that pour their heart and soul into a memory for me. Friends that have touched my heart in ways I never expected. Friends that will tell me what I need to hear, regardless of what I want to hear.
I am blessed. I am truly blessed. I had an amazing husband. We had our problems, no one is perfect. No marriage is perfect. But he was pretty freaking amazing.
And now I have amazing friends.
I’m not sure what I did to deserve this. I’m not sure what I did to deserve a life so full and rich and blessed with love.
I am so grateful for my friends.