Starting to Isolate

I’ve noticed, lately, that I bow out of things a lot.  I will make excuses, conveniently “forget” and just generally not do much.

I don’t blog as much, I’m not on websites as much, I’m not talking to my friends as much.

I don’t know what this means exactly… am I just retreating into a shell to heal and regroup?  Am I isolating?

I don’t know.

What I do know is that I’m supposed to be picking up friends in about 15 mins to go out to hear some music… and in my brain I’m making excuses why I can’t.

The boys need me.

I am tired.

I’ll do it later.

I don’t want to.

I have studying to do.

My house needs to be cleaned.

There’s a show on tonight.

My dog needs to go for a walk.

I forgot.

All of these are valid, and at the same time, none are.

The boys do need me, but I need to have a rich full life.

Later might not come.

I always have fun once I get there.

I always need to study but until it is the day before, I can enjoy myself for a few hours.

My house ALWAYS has something that needs to be cleaned.

Shows can be watched another time.

Dog always wants to go for a walk.

Rarely do I completely forget.

Truth is, I want to curl up on my couch and cover myself with a blanket and ignore the world.    I don’t know if its a matter of trying to heal, or if its a matter of isolation… but I worry about it.

I’m an extrovert, I like to get out and do stuff.   And I’m not right now.

So my friends…. if I say no… make sure I’m saying no for the right reasons.

I am OK


2 thoughts on “Starting to Isolate

  1. Gary Leigh says:

    Bowing out tends to be a sign of weariness and exhaustion and the need to conserve your mental and psychic energies.

  2. Jax says:

    I’ve been there, closing myself off. Not wanting to do anything. Looking for a way to bow out.

    We’re listening. We’re here. When you re-emerge, we’ll still be here. XOXO

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