I’ve noticed, lately, that I bow out of things a lot. I will make excuses, conveniently “forget” and just generally not do much.
I don’t blog as much, I’m not on websites as much, I’m not talking to my friends as much.
I don’t know what this means exactly… am I just retreating into a shell to heal and regroup? Am I isolating?
I don’t know.
What I do know is that I’m supposed to be picking up friends in about 15 mins to go out to hear some music… and in my brain I’m making excuses why I can’t.
The boys need me.
I am tired.
I’ll do it later.
I don’t want to.
I have studying to do.
My house needs to be cleaned.
There’s a show on tonight.
My dog needs to go for a walk.
All of these are valid, and at the same time, none are.
The boys do need me, but I need to have a rich full life.
Later might not come.
I always have fun once I get there.
I always need to study but until it is the day before, I can enjoy myself for a few hours.
My house ALWAYS has something that needs to be cleaned.
Shows can be watched another time.
Dog always wants to go for a walk.
Rarely do I completely forget.
Truth is, I want to curl up on my couch and cover myself with a blanket and ignore the world. I don’t know if its a matter of trying to heal, or if its a matter of isolation… but I worry about it.
I’m an extrovert, I like to get out and do stuff. And I’m not right now.
So my friends…. if I say no… make sure I’m saying no for the right reasons.