I’m not talking about your love, your companionship, your presence… but the other things.
I can’t read the last Robert Jordan book.
I can’t read the Game of Thrones series or watch the show.
Big Bang Theory is funny, yet painful.
I don’t remember the last time I read before bed.
A lot of TV holds no interest for me anymore.
Quilting and cross stitch leads to triggers.
I remember when we first got together, we were in Terrace and we were sleeping on the blue sheets – do you remember?
You wanted to get rid of them – because they were the sheets you used with “her” before me.
I wanted to keep them – they were the first sheets we slept together on.
We made better, happier memories and overwrote the unpleasant memories for you. We wore those sheets out.
I want to find some happyness in the things I used to love. I can’t find the joy I used to have – it’s all taken by the memories of you and what is gone.
There’s a lot of my new life that I love. But I’m missing some essential parts of me and I don’t know how to overwrite, or at least colour the memories with something happy so that I enjoy those things again.
You took a big part of me with you. I want some of that back.