Just Like That, Eh?

Just Like That

 

I see things like that a lot.

So I changed.  Just like that.

But then… when I’m in the middle of it, I feel more like this:

Grief Is Like the Ocean

 

And I wonder why I can’t swim.

Why I’m drowning instead if I’m supposed to be able to change… “just like that”

grieving

 

Grief and depression… very confusing and very misleading….

Because I remember, when I’m feeling good, snapping out of the grief and depression and wondering WTF am I doing?  Why am I feeling like this when I KNOW I can change “just like that” and then I fall in a hole.

And I’m broken.

And I’ve been broken for a while now.

Christmas.  New Years.  My Birthday.  January 19.  January 21.  Feb 1.  And now we’re coming up on Feb 14.

That marks the end of the 2 month stretch of *dates* and *anniversaries* and the clusterfuck of emotions I don’t have time to process.

There will be others… His birthday, Father’s day, his Angelversary, our anniversary…. but those are spread out enough that I can process in between.

I have good moments.  I have a good life.  I am just stuck in depression while my mind and heart process the life I lost.

Peace

 

Eventually, I’ll be able to see the light again…

Turn On the Light

 

But for now all I know is…

It's Going to be Ok Someday

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One thought on “Just Like That, Eh?

  1. kerbey says:

    it sounds like you are on the right track, going through all the emotions that a normal human heart would feel. I’m sorry for your loss.

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