Becoming a Man

How do I help my son become a man?

How do I help him move through the grief, feel the feelings, acknowledge them and move forward?

We sat in our van today, talking about Dad and how he feels.

His sadness about his Dad’s death.

His lack of tears.

His anger at me for checking out that first year.

His anger at the hospital – thinking they didn’t do enough to make him better.

He is confused – and sad – and hurting  – and angry.

And he’s very much like me – he stuffs it in a tiny little box until it comes out in some form of explosion.

We’re going to see a grief counsellor next week – hopefully she’ll be able to help him.

If that doesn’t work – we have a name and number for a younger gentleman who works with teenagers.   I’ll see how that works for him.

I want very much for him to not grow up angry and bitter – he’s got a shell around him – I think it’s still fragile enough that I can help him learn to keep it protecting only those parts that need to be protected – instead of walling himself off entirely.

He’s almost 14 – becoming a man, slowly.  Trying to see where the world takes him and where he fits in – and the man who was supposed to show him that is gone…

Pictures 087

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