A friend of mine.
A widowed friend of mine.
The engagement rings abound. Facebook is full of them.
I don’t know why, but for the last year or so… I’ve been angry at the rest of the world moving on and being happy. Not angry at the people, not angry at their happiness… but angry that *I* wasn’t there. Angry that there’s no one asking me to have forever. Nothing I can announce to the world. No ring, no promise of tomorrow…
And this year… I get to be single. Seriously. WTF?
Tis the season for engagements. And they remind me of what I’ve lost. What I don’t have. What is not coming this year. Or next. But I’m happy for my friends… just angry that I am fricken single. Widowed.
Seriously. I’m a widow. An only parent. Not just a single parent, an ONLY parent. And Christmas? I had to point out to my daughter the things I wanted for Christmas so that my boys could get me something I wanted.
Someone posted about taking a widow’s kids shopping so that the kids could buy something for their parent.
I had to tell my daughter to do that.
I miss having my partner do that for me. I miss taking the boys shopping for their dad.
I miss being part of a couple.
I’m happy for all my newly engaged/married friends, whether they be widowed or not, but I’m sad that I am not.
Tis the season.