I am Naked.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

At least long enough to read this… LOL  then go back to the gutter – I’ll meet you there 😉 😛

Lately, I haven’t been wearing any rings or necklaces.

The only jewelry I’ve been wearing is my UP! band, my Hope Matters bracelet from Camp Widow and the watch my mom gave me.

I frequently touch my fingers, my chest, looking for the jewelry that normally adorns me.

But I am naked.

Part of this is deliberate.

The rings I was wearing were my wedding ring and my family ring.

The necklace was either my ash pendant I had bought after my husband died, or the heart pendant my ex gave me for my birthday last year.

I have removed them… because I want to find me.

So I am naked.

Taking them off for me is a symbol of finding myself.  Getting naked to my soul.   Breaking out of the labels of who I was and forging who I am and who I will be.

My daughter made an observation to me this morning… about how I will make a decision:

It’s true! You’ve got the first to steps down, you just tend to loose the confidence after you’ve decided to do it.
Then you feel like your not doing te right thing. It’s kinda funny actually.
And it got me thinking…
And when I thought about it… she’s right.
I make a decision.  I head in that direction.  And then I doubt myself.  I doubt my abilities, my decision making, my choices.
I can feel it happening with school.  With my job.  With my life.
And I want it to stop.  So… I will.
My resolution for 2015 is to trust myself.  Trust my choices.  Trust my decisions.   Believe in me.
I am a widow.  I have learned so much about myself and who I am and what I want.   Now I get to believe in it.   I get to be my OWN Chapter 2.   I get to write my OWN story.   With me as the star.   There’s a blog post in that.   I’ll write it later.

Just Like That New Beginnings PhoenixRising


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