The Club No One Wants To Join

I saw on Facebook today that a former co-worker’s husband lost his fight last night.

She’s joined the club that no one wants to join.

It hit hard.  Along with the grief of losing my husband, the grief of losing my relationship, I have this “empathy” grief for her.

I’m sitting here, 1/2 hour past my bedtime, tears streaming down my face because I know what she’s going through. I know what it’s like to wake up one morning as a wife, and go to bed as a widow.   I know what it’s like to look at the hours and days and months and years and wonder HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS???

And I’m crying for her.

Because it sucks.

It sucks hugely to know that he’s NEVER. COMING. BACK.

I want to hold her close.  I want to just sit beside her while she talks about him.  I want to be there for her.

I have offered, but I don’t know if I would be able to without bursting into tears.

But I’ll be there.   I’ll show up, hug her, love her and let her know she’s *not* alone.  Because I’ve been there.

She’s not alone.  She’s got a community.  She just doesn’t know it yet.

It's Going to be Ok Someday

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One thought on “The Club No One Wants To Join

  1. This reminds me of a favourite quote that I can resonate with often, especially for times such as these.

    “When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words”

    I found it hard to talk about him when friends would drop in so soon after losing him. From memory, I think I sat on the lounge with a cup of tea, trembling in my hands. We had the television on as background noise, and not a single word needed to be said. I didn’t need to talk about him at this stage, but I did need somebody there for me.

    Someone sitting in the same room, and just to know that somebody cared that much about me that they were prepared to do just that.

    Goodluck, x

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