I’m Angry… but Not… blah

Lately, I’ve had some anger surfacing.

Anger that he died.

Anger that he left me alone.

Anger that I have to live my life differently.

Anger that the future we planned is not going to happen.

Don’t get me wrong… I love my life.  I love where it’s headed. I love the choices I am making.

But I’m angry that I HAD to make the choices.

While there is something amazing in having freedom, I was never one who wanted it.  I wanted the plan.

Too many choices confuses me.

But… I have the choice.  I have the freedom.  It’s an awesome dichotomy of “I want this but damn I wish I didn’t have to” going on in my head.

Life is a mass of contridictions.   And so am I.

Lost sign

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One thought on “I’m Angry… but Not… blah

  1. Oh hon. I get it. I get angry too. Often i’m grateful that i have the opportunity to make my own choices and be selfish, in a way. But then I remember the comfort of having someone to fall back on if things didn’t quite go to plan. I miss that. I am angry i dont have that anymore and that she abandoned me.

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