It’s All Good… but…

A strange thing happens when your spouse dies.

There’s this hole in all your conversations.

Robin Williams died…and I wanted to tell Mark about it.  Mark was such a big fan.

Grandbabies… grandbabies everywhere…and I can’t talk to him about them.

Justin Trudeau getting elected… and Hunter Tootoo being the Ministry for Fisheries and Oceans.  OMG the conversation about that.

Everything the Harper government did to decimate the environment… he would have been talking about that… not just hours, not just days… but I’d never stop hearing about it. Ever.  He was so passionate about it.

And the adorable throatsingers at the swearing in ceremony.  He probably would have shown those to me before I had a chance to show him.

Things are good… but there’s a hole in my conversations.   I miss the indepth, passionate debates we’d have about various topics.

I haven’t found someone else who will talk about those things with me. Who has that same passion for conversation.

There’s just a hole where the conversations used to be…

Christmas 2011

5 thoughts on “It’s All Good… but…

  1. I’m missing the inside jokes and humor we alone shared. There was also a sort of language, perhaps shorthand, we’d developed including understood and so unspoken words, that vanished with that last breath.
    Continue to take care of yourself.

  2. I mostly talk to the dog now. My neighbors work, my daughters work. It is the saddest thing when you don’t have a mate to complain to at days end. At least Jim (the dog) loves and appreciates me. I am so sad and alone.

  3. Widow Strong says:

    I hear you!

    Yesterday I found something we lost about 3 years ago. Purely by accident while digging through a cupboard. I jumped down off the chair I was standing on, super excited and went to grab my phone to call him!! It’s the little things like that, that stop you in your tracks. No-one else will care for these things, so you just keep them to yourself.

  4. Heather Ann says:

    I hear you. Just the nightly conversations about how the day went, kids accomplishments, things that pissed you off, complaining, and the in depth conversations about passions you both had together.

  5. survivormomma27 says:

    Yes, it sucks when there is no one else in the world who would find something funny or understand what you wanted to share. (((Hugs)))

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