Am I Lonely?

Yes and no.  A lot of the time, yes.  But right now?  I’m bored.

There’s SO much I can be doing.

Homework. Working out.  Crafting. Decluttering. Meditation.  Magick. Piano.

And I’m not.

All I can think of is… I don’t know WHAT I want to do.  I will do the homework again – might go for a 10 min walk on my treadmill first. But I am almost overloaded with homework and having problems focusing.

Crafting – several items I could craft.  I have a couple quilts on the go.  I have a robe to finish.  I have curtains to do. I have a crochet blanket to work on. I have a number of WIP’s.   But usually I do those while watching TV and there’s nothing interesting on TV right now.

Decluttering… that will take me either the rest of the night or will take 15 mins.  There is no in between.

Piano… I don’t know what’s holding me back. I love my piano.  I don’t play as much as I used to. (read – not at all lately)

But really – it doesn’t matter what I do… there’s no one to talk to.

I’m not lonely. I’m just bored with my own company.

This must be the first step in learning to like living alone. Maybe?

At any rate – widowing is hard.  It used to be painful – now it’s just hard.

Depend on Yourself

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2 thoughts on “Am I Lonely?

  1. Melissa says:

    I totally get where you are coming from. My husband died nearly 4 years ago. I learned crochet and how to dye yarn. Now I’m on to weaving. I just spent 10 hours moving my kids and my bedrooms around. It never ends. My 4 kids are going to look back and talk about how crazy I was! My teen boy hates my yarn so much, he dreams about burning all my yarn. Ugh and sigh. Netflix and a glass of wine until I crash

  2. sunnyjane says:

    HAHAH my teens just ignore my craft stuff. 4 kids is a fun group – mine are mostly older.

    Seems to be our lives now… Netflix and Chill…all by ourselves… :p

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