I made it through Father’s Day. I made it through the day mostly because I had been riding on a derby high from 3 bouts in 24 hours.
I got home, emotionally crashed, and slept.
The missing him, it’s visceral. Every day that goes by is another day further from him being on this Earth, from him being at my side, from him getting to see his children and grandchildren.
How do I explain to his grandsons who he was and how amazing he was? How can I get them to understand?
Short answer… I can’t. They’ll never know.
The countdown of days is on. I had a breakdown on the way to school yesterday. The weight of the day of his death gets heavier with each day. I know… or at least I hope… from past years, that it will lighten up again after the 26th, but for now, I’m simply walking through my days, hoping I don’t crash and burn.
I miss him.