4 days ago, it was the 19th anniversary of Mark telling me he loved me.
4 days ago, it was Valentines day.
I’m not big on the “hallmark” holiday that is Valentines Day.
He loves me… he tells me daily. He shows me in the little things he does. I don’t need a holiday to celebrate our love.
I have our anniversary.
I have the anniversary of the day he first told me he loves me.
I have those little days and moments and memories.
And now I don’t share them with him. I remember them. I remember that on the anniversary of the day he told me he loved me, he told me “Happy Anniversary” 5 years ago. Only 4 months before he died.
I remember the day he told me… how everything in my world tilted on it’s axis.
And I have my Sexxy Chef who works on Valentines…. so the day for us is fairly meaningless. We did have a dinner a couple nights before, he gave me the most beautiful purple rose, and he gave me some chocolates. It was sweet, romantic and amazingly beautiful.
But Valentine’s Day? I spent a couple hours being sad. Remembering Mark and the love we shared. Missing him. Missing the connection we had.
I love him still. I always will.
February 14 is a day on the calendar. It’s also the day he first told me he loved me. But it means nothing in terms of the hallmark holiday that generates so much income for local businesses….